How to Change Your Life with One Simple Facebook Message

If you follow me on Twitter you basically know, or at least have caught snippets, of what's going down. I alluded to it on Facebook a time or two, but needed to inform people in real life (IRL for those of you who read only in abbreves) before I could really let loose. But considering by now basically everyone in my life knows, I might as well put it here - whether for marking a point in time or for public shame later, we shall see.

Here's the deal: I applied for grad school.

I know, right? I'm not sure if I've blogged about grad school at all here before, but basically my attitude was: I'd love to do it because I love the art/academia world, but I can not justify that much debt for a degree in art, which odds are will get me no further than I am right now.

So why the change of heart? Well sit back and I'll tell you a little (very long) story:

*insert flash-back harp music*

The exact day this journey began was Monday, February 27th, but around that time I was feeling the tug of discontent in the direction my life was headed. I was having discussions with God about the future (looking at job opportunities in England? I was getting antsy to say the least), and basically told Him (always a good move) that I wanted to be out of my current situation and in an art related career by the time I was 30 (4 1/2 years from now).

God has such a sense of humor.

So February 27th I received a Facebook message that morning. My friend, Jason, who is currently at DigiPen for a game design degree, emailed me and a few other artist friends informing us that DigiPen was starting a brand new MFA in Digital Art program, and just thought he'd put that information in front of our faces to see if we'd want to do anything with it. I instantly replied, "Don't tempt me." Then a few hours later I text him something to the effect of "Damn it, Jason." I had clicked on that stupid underlined blue text and fell headlong down a worm hole. I read all I could about the program and really couldn't believe my eyes. This program is geared towards artists who want to get into the digital/3D industry - THAT'S ME! Although I was trying to find a new path in life, grad school wasn't on my radar because of the money situation. So this slap in the face came so far out of left field, yet seemed so perfect, I couldn't help but know it was from God.
I held on to this information for a few days until I couldn't stand it anymore and had to bounce it off of someone else to see if I was totally insane. I don't remember who was the first one to get hit in the face with my verbal freak out puke, it was probably my room mate Cheryl (bless her heart). Person after person I told I received the same reaction: "Oh my gosh, Beth. You have to do it."

This was not was I was expecting. I don't know why, but I was expecting a luke-warm reception of, "That's cool, but is it necessary?", or at the very least, "That sounds fun." Instead it was a barrage of "This is perfect for you!" "I can see in your eyes it's all you want" "Well, what are you waiting for?" etc. I was nervous to tell my mom as just the week prior she had told me I needed to be more grateful for my job as so many people we know don't have them. So telling her I was considering leaving my job to go back to school, take out a ton of loans, in hopes of getting a different job? Didn't sound to me like it would land well....but it did (except for the loan part, but that part was already giving me heartburn anyway). Needless to say, my mind was swimming.

A month later (exactly) I saw they were having an info session the next Saturday, March 31st. I instantly signed up for it, only to be super bummed a second later when I realized I had to skip half of Saturday at Emerald City Comicon. Sorry, Wil Wheaton, but my grad school dreams were slightly higher on my to-do list than your 90 Minute Awesome Hour (of which I am really bummed I missed). But, disappointment aside, I went. (Oh, let's not forget the 3-day rush to get a portfolio together and printed for a review by professors...the first portfolio required of me in 2 years.)

The first words out of the gal's mouth: "You must be Beth! You're our only girl today." Yep, I was in the right place - but surprised it was only 3 guys and myself. The info session was fantastic - turns out I totally and completely agree with the education theories and philosophies of DigiPen. The only thing that had me a little bummed was how 3D intense the program is, but it only took me a day or two after to come around to the fact that that's what the industry I want to work in demands, and I really do want to learn how to do it all. The professors were really great and willing to answer any and all questions. My portfolio review went way better than expected. I went into this session planning on applying for the 2013/14 school year, but after all the talk about the program, meeting the people I met, and the professor telling me I was a viable candidate now (not expected news), my plans basically changed right then and there. I was going to figure out a way to do this program this fall.

It has been 2 full months since that info session and things have been going weirdly well. All I can say is this is a testament to God's provision. You see, I've seen doors slammed in my face when I try to make a plan work. 2 years ago I tried so hard and sent out countless resumes to Bellingham to move there. I had 3 seemingly excellent interviews, all flopped. Everything I tried failed. Turned out God knew best that I needed to stay where I was. Letting God take this situation under control and seeing how He has lead me in His best path is so thrilling. The reason I kept it under wraps for a while was that I couldn't tell the difference between God's direction and my personal desires. I want so badly to get into this program and to be able to further  my artistic skills so that I can be hireable in games and movies (more than you know). I want so badly for a change of pace. But I didn't know if I wanted it so badly I was ignoring God's direction. So I took time and sought wise council to figure it out. So far, this does seem to be the direction God has for me.

Have I been accepted yet? Not that I know. I confirmed a few days ago that all my application materials were received, so I should know if a few weeks. I'm proud of my essay, I think my portfolio is solid, and I feel like I have 2 pretty strong references. If I don't get in, yes, I'll be disappointed. But part of me will be relieved as I'll have another year to beef up the portfolio with more digital, get some 3D experience, pay off some debt, save some money and apply for scholarships. All those things I can't do if I get in this year, but I know if I do, God will provide - He does not send us down a path alone!

These past few months have been an exercise in trusting God, and even more so in waiting. And I'm still waiting, but I'm excited to see what's around the next turn. I have no idea what I'll be doing come September - for all I know I could be doing the same thing I am doing now, or I could be back at school and busier than I have been in years. I don't know if or how I'll keep my current job, and how much debt I'll have to take out as all scholarship deadlines are gone. Cheryl and I are looking for a 3rd roommate so rent will go down, but even in that there's so much still in the air.

Basically, there are so many balls up in the air right now. I suck at juggling, so it's a good thing I've got God covering it.