Here's to being a better artist! *clink*

Taking a very little break from the thesis updates, although not for the reason that I don't have anything to update on. I actually do, but I'm going to wait until I have the maquette done next week. So tune in for that!

I'm here today to just muse about some other things. I've been getting some fun little doodle inspirations recently. And although I don't have hours upon hours to work on them like I wish I did, I have been putting off sleep for an hour here and there to play.

This also comes from the fact that I've recently started to follow some artists on twitter who I admire like crazy, so it's really been inspiring me to get better. Because I want to be in their club. (The "I work for a cool company making awesome things people love" club. Also known as IWFACCMATPL. There's a handshake. Or at least I'm assuming so...)

Also possibly pushing me forward is the fact that in 9 (NINE!) short months, I'm hoping to be employed making art somewhere. NINE MONTHS IS NOT MUCH TIME. There may be a little bit of freaking out happening in my brain.

So I'm taking a little break from finishing all my school projects (this is the last week of classes for the summer! Yay!!!) to say this:

Hi, I'm Beth. I desperately want to be an artist. But more importantly, I desperately want to be a better artist.

I don't think I'm going to post any of these little doodles or projects here today. If you want to see what I'm working on, follow me on Twitter, because that's where I make bad decisions to show stuff in process.

The biggest thing I'm working on in the shreds of spare time I dredge up is a wedding portrait for one of my besties, Trisha, who has asked me to be maid of honor when she marries Jordan in October. I am having TONS of fun with that one, but she hasn't seen it yet, so no spoilers. (She has also picked THE BEST brides maid dress ever. And I get to go to Calgary in October!)

After finals - in 2 weeks! - my brother and sister-in-law and I are road tripping out to Colorado to see my parents. I'm getting really excited - I've haven't driven around the states really at all, and can't wait to see some amazing sites (Yellowstone! Arches! Grand Tetons! Other things!)

Being away from normal life for a few weeks is just what I need (boy oh boy I can use a vacation after 11 months of intense grad school); but I mostly need to step away from the computer. I've been drowning in vertices and UV's and layers and shaders... I think I've forgotten what graphite and ink feel like. I'll definitely post a "road trip sketch book" update when I get back.

~~~

On a slightly different train of thought, our game team has started a podcast!!! We talk about the process of making a game (at least that's the goal), but of course things get off track. I've been recently working on the art direction for next year's game, so we've been chatting about that. We're also finishing last year's game, so you get to hear a little about us just wanting to be done with it. We have a ton of fun recording it, so tune in for a slice of our weird team dynamic! Subscribe on iTunes - the next episode should be dropping today or tomorrow.

Also, if you're going to PAX at the end of August, go play our game Flickers! We'll be at the DigiPen booth.

Thanks everyone! See ya next week with the update on Spaz, the little lobster dog that could.

Re-return of the Thesis Updates! (Stardate 06242013)

It has been just about 2 months since I've updated regarding my thesis. Ben's passing, as well as a very busy summer semester, has kept me from blogging as much as I was expecting. But to be honest, not much work has happened on the thesis, anyway. I am currently in 2 CG classes, one focusing on hard surface modeling (in Maya), the other on digital sculpture (in ZBrush). These 2 classes are helping me learn A TON that will make working on my thesis characters this fall go much, much more smoothly.

The work I have been doing on the ol' Thesis has been in my Animal Anatomy class. Besides learning all about anatomy of mammals and birds, I have been using that time to really solidify the structure of my creatures. Since they are amalgamations of real animals, I better get the anatomy right. ...And it's just darn fun.

Way back in April, when I presented my idea to the Thesis committee, their feedback was to work more on Stubs, as he didn't seem as resolved as Spaz and Sarah. So that's what I've done!

The first design of Stubs:

Some of the critique said he felt too calculated: one leg, one eye, one tusk... So I went back to the drawing board with some of the same ideas.

It came down two animals I wanted to mash up: walrus and rhino. Because baby rhino's have the best feet ever, and baby walruses cuddle. Adorable.

So starting with words and doodles and trying to figure out what I want Stubs to be, I then did some anatomy studies:

Turns out it's pretty easy anatomically to mash up a walrus and a rhino. So then it was time to figure out how to make this creature interesting.

I knew I wanted him to be a gimp, as the inability to move well is something I really wanted to keep with the whole "sickness" thing. But then something unexpected happen: he got too cute. There wasn't anything super gross or terrifying about him. So the next natural step: parasitic mouth. The tusks are out, the sucker is in.

So here is the new Stubs! I still need to figure out his skin issues. He still has one missing eye, and may still have ribs showing like the previous incarnation. We'll see.

I've also been working on the maquette of him. That has been super fun, and you can see a quick Vine I did of stage one.

Next is to figure out texture and color, but I'm really liking this pathetic, lumpy, adorable sad sack of a creature.

Next week: The Anatomy of Spaz.

Benjamin Michael Morrell - or "Boy-O" as I knew him

On May 9th, my brother passed away from his 6 year long battle with cancer. This past Saturday was his memorial service, which was a beautiful time to remember his life and see a sliver of the impact he had on people. The complete service stream will be up in a few days, so I'll update it if you want to watch it, but I'll post a few elements here today.

We had an opportunity to write something to be read at the service (not by me, that wouldn't have gone well), so I thought I'd post my section here.

I waited 26 years to finally get this kind of treatment...

Ben is only 4 years, 10 months, and 2 days older than me, but it wasn’t until recently that I realized that’s not very much. He has always been my BIG brother – so much older, having experienced so much before me.  He was the leader of our pack, and I shamelessly followed in his footsteps as much as I could. I took on his tastes in music when he drove me to school in junior high; I joined the same drama group in high school; and we went to my first of many comic conventions together my freshman year of college. Even in the last few months of his life we could discuss the intricacies of Doctor Who for hours (and we did).

When I finally caught up to adulthood, we became equals. We collaborated on an idea for a webcomic, which unfortunately was shelved when I headed to grad school. But instead of guilting me for abandoning the project, he encouraged me every step. Ben endlessly supported me as an artist, and I can confidently say that I wouldn’t be the artist I am today without his inspiration, ideas, and encouragement. 

Of all the brotherly memories I have of Ben, it’s really hard to pick one that sums him up. Once when I was in 6^th grade, the car broke down not far from school. I managed to catch a ride with someone, and an hour later he popped his head into my class to make sure I made it ok. When I was in high school, he checked in with me before he asked Lisa’s dad to marry her. He took me out of school early to stand in line to see the first Lord of the Rings. When I was in college, he wrote me a note that said he’d never threaten a boyfriend of mine because he trusted me. Once in the middle of the night we set up an inflatable polar bear on my parent’s lawn as a prank, only to find out my dad had already bought the same one.  And I can’t forget the motion sensored singing Christmas tree he set up to scare me on the stairs one night.

But behind these memories of the fun times, the trials God brought Ben through these past 6 years made him into a man with real, deep, unshakeable faith. Although I don’t wish those trials on anyone, I hope someday to see the world and Jesus the way Ben was able to – with a heavenly perspective, with much wisdom, and as always, with humor. 

I will miss you every day, Boy-O.

Here is the slideshow that was put together to show during the reception, with some of Ben's favorite songs. (Honestly, I haven't brought myself to watch it yet.)

UPDATE: Instead of writing something, Adam dedicated a song he had his Freshman band at Stadium Highschool play. Please enjoy my brother directing "Forever Holding Close the Memories" by Rchard L Saucedo.

I know Ben was always very honest on his blog about what was going on physically and how he was dealing with it. I'm not sure I've gotten to the point to be honest with myself yet, but I know I miss him. It comes in waves of realizing he's really gone, and that's not easy. I am grateful I have school to keep me busy (very busy...more on that next week), but I hope over time I'll be able to face things head on like he did. 

Thank you all for the love and kind words, but mostly thanks for the prayers over the plast few weeks. All the family and friends who were in town for this past weekend are now gone, so life soldiers on. The good news is God is good always, and His plan, no matter how strange it may seem to our tiny little eyes, is the best plan imaginable. 

Return of the Thesis Updates! (Stardate 04302013)

Hello Thesiskateers! (I'm listening to Thrilling Adventure Hour while I write this, so I'd like to think of you all as the Adventurekateers to my Captain Laserbeam. Don't know what I'm talking about? What's wrong with you?)

So after 2 weeks of radio silence, I return to deliver good news:

This project tentitively titled "Creature Fears" has been green lit!!!

(I actually really want to change the title because I was asked to come up with one last minute and I don't really like it. Suggestions are welcome.)

I presented it to the Thesis Committee on Friday night and they enjoyed the story and characters and are on board for my proposed plan of execution.

A family portrait I put together for a take away card for my presentation. Someday it will be in color....

I have received a few questions regarding what a thesis for an art degree means, so I'll run down what the proposed (and I guess now approved!) project is:

In order to prove my "mastery" of character design and modeling (considering this is a Master's degree. after all), I will deliver the following:

- All three characters made into maquettes (my summer project! fun!)
- All three characters modeled in 3D: one bipedal human, one quadruped creature, one bipedal creature
- All three characters textured, lit, rigged (gulp), and animated (not by me, hopefully) in a simple walk cycle or other proof of movement
- A simple environment modeled in 3D
- An art book comprising of process and concept art with DVD reel

It's going to be quite the feat, considering the characters I have designed means I need to model hair, cloth, fur, hard surface, and 3 different types of skin.... most of those I don't know how to do yet. Good thing we have a guy on faculty who was on the team at Pixar that did Merrida's hair (I KNOW!).

So here are the concepts I have done so far:

Sarah: 13 years old, awkward and shy, but very caring and loyal

Fashion based on late 90's/early 00's. including flair capris and butterfly clips

She's not the cool girl, so I wanted to make sure she looks uncomfortable in her own skin, but not super self aware yet. The oversized sweatshirt and unkempt hair is at least what I default to, so.....

The newly named Spaz: she's unpredictable and bipolar. She represents the fear of loosing sanity, but on the flip side represents the appreciation of rationality. She is the most fun thing to draw in the world. (And those socks - I mean come on!)

Stubs' design was the one thing the Thesis Committee thought I needed to work on, so I'll be figuring out how to make his silhouette more interesting. But regardless: he's sardonic and lazy, representing the fear of sickness, as well as the appreciation of one's health.

This week is my break between Spring and Summer semesters, so I'm not working on anything school related, mainly for my sanity to build back up. Next week starts 3 classes I'm pretty stoked about: Hard and Organic surface modeling (the class I dropped this semester, and a very important and useful CG class for these characters, especially Spaz), Digital Sculpting in ZBrush (also helpful for lil'Stubs), and Animal Anatomy (which will be perfect to make sure the anatomy on these guys are spot on). Taking three classes during the summer will definitely keep me busy, but it also means I'll have one fewer class for each semester next year, and that's a good thing.

This time next year I'll be (hopefully) employed, or looking for employment. 12 more months until I start truly living the dream (and not paying to live the dream)... so here we goooo!!!!

Thesis Production Log: Stardate 04162013

Hi! Sorry this is a day late, I am in the middle of the last week of class, so it was a scramble to get some stuff done for tonight's class last night. It was 1am and I'm pretty sure I was still painting when I went to sleep, so no blog until now.

That makes it sound like I finished stuff. Ha! That's not quite the case, but I did promise non-sketches this week, so let's see what I've got for you...

As I've mentioned previously, it's hard for me to post in-process images (although that's the point of this blog...), so I'm going to conquer my fear and post completely unfinished paintings.

Here's Sarah's turn around, probably the most finished thing I have right now. I want to re-paint for better contrast eventually.

You even get to see my pallet that I forgot to hide before I saved the jpg. (Woops.) Also, turns out I really like drawing feet now....

Here's Insanity. This guy is *insanely* fun to draw (pause for laughter). He's basically a chinese crested/golden retriever mix that got it on with a coconut crab and has bad dental insurance....and I love him.

He also needs a name, so please help with that.

I just wanna hug him! Oh look! More color pallets.

And finally (and least figured out color-wise), here's Sickness, who also needs a name. Help with that would be great.

Looking at komodo dragons for his skin, I now want someone to genetically adjust their attitude so I can have one as a pet.

So here's your homework (HA! I get to give homework now! TAKE THAT!): Help with names!

Things to keep in mind:
- At this moment Sarah is about 13, but these creatures have been with her for a long time, so her naming is probably very childlike.
- "Insanity" is a bipolar yet innocent dog-like creature.
- "Sickness"is slightly sardonic and lazy reptilian teddy bear.

This week we're finishing up classes (art history and character design down; sculpture and pre-thesis to go!), but this semester has been SO LONG it doesn't feel like it could possibly be ending. Now to just finish all those projects due during finals week.....

Our game that I've been art director on this year (don't remember if I've mentioned that or not) will be part of the showcase (I really wish it was called the Showcase Showdown, but its not) for the DigiPen student games on Friday. I'll link to the recording if it ever gets put up. It's a big deal, so I'm really proud that this game has gotten the reception (and will hopefully continue to get great reception in contests!) that it deserves.

A week from Friday I give my thesis presentation to the committee asking for approval to continue the process! So barring any disasters, it looks like I have survived Year One of Grad School.

Oof.

Thesis Production Log: Stardate 04082013

What a week!

Shortly after I posted the last blog, I realized it's really hard for me to show my process from week to week, because (and I'm sure every artist can relate) showing something in-process is scary. I want to scream out "DON'T JUDGE THIS, IT ISN'T DONE YET!", but that's kind of the point of doing this PRODUCTION log is to note the steps it takes me to get to the end. And believe it or not, a few weeks into the design process, things are still rapidly changing.

The day after I last blogged, we had a critique in our Character Design class. I hadn't had a ton of time to get everything done as I had wished, but I was also at a point where I feel like I needed feedback in order to go any further. And boy was that instinct right!

I didn't get a very good reaction to my creatures, which at the time was disappointing. They (my two professors who team teach the class) liked the design for Sarah, and liked the direction my Sanity creature was headed, but the other two they weren't sold. Sickness wasn't interesting enough (I agreed), and Abandonment didn't really look like the fear of abandonment to them. I really liked that creature, so it was hard for me to - you guessed it - abandon him. (budum ching!)

But taking a night to sleep on it and think over what they said, I know they were completely right. That whole "kill your darlings" thing it true most of the time.

After talking it over in our Thesis Pre-Production class a few days later, I decided to switch up the story a little, in order to adjust the scope of the project as well. Instead of girl and 3 creatures, it is girl and 2 creatures. The new story is this: Creature #3 (Abandonment) goes missing, so she must take her pets out for the first time ever (dressing them up to hide their most terrifying parts) to find him and bring him home. This not only makes the amount of work for me more manageable, but I feel gives the story a bit higher stakes (taking them out for a walk isn't an every day occurrence), and gives her a deeper relationship with her pets.

Also, since I won't be modeling the Abandonment creature in 3D, that means I can go back to the original idea of only seeing that creature from the back. That was going to be near impossible to figure out how to do (in this short amount of time), so I think that was a great decision on all accounts.

I also went back to the drawing board for my Sickness creature. Instead of a gross slug-like creature, I now have a little walrus dragon, and I quite like him. I'm maintaining some aspects of the previous Abandonment creature (the open rib cage, the bipedal nature...), and adding some fun details that will give him a really unique walk - he uses his tusk as a crutch for his gimp leg. Poor fellow.

The new "Sickness" creature. His skin is saggy, scaly lizard skin, he has one eye, his left leg is only a femur, so he uses his left tusk as a crutch to help him walk. And on top of that, his uncovered rib cage is filled with tumors. He's pretty gross, but Sarah puts a sweater on him to take him out, so that keeps the draft out.

Next week you'll get to see more than just sketchbook pages, as I've been working on character sheets and color comps for tomorrow's class.

As painful as it is, sometimes a pretty big redesign is exactly what one needs. The handful of times Photoshop has died on me, it always results in a better drawing the second go-round (even when it is beyond frustrating and has brought me to tears.... ok, happy thoughts...)

In other news: our game is due in a week and it's so exciting to see it almost done. The summer will bring polish to make everything sparkly and perfect, but so far so good!

Also, I spent the evening with Ben on Saturday painting and enjoying each other's company. I used gouache (opache watercolor) for the first time ever, and understand why some people loath it, but it's definitely something I want to keep working with. Here's what I made - a little ode to spring and warmer weather (may it come quicker than it is):

Have I mentioned how much I love Art Nouveau?

Thesis Production Log: Stardate 04012013

Hello internet denizen!

Pardon my french, but it's been one hell of a week. My brother and sister-in-law are now moved back "home" (from way too far away for far too long) for hospice care. On top of that, my spring break last week was relaxing, but not in the slightest bit productive. All that adds up to one very stressed out Beth.

But here I am to show you what I'm working on. I realized last week's blog I just said I was going to blog about my thesis project, but didn't actually say what it was. So here's the pitch:

A young teenage girl has three creatures she is self conscious about how creepy they are, so she dresses them up to take them out on walks. One day they escape from her, and she is forced to face what they really are, all the while learning that her creatures are no more fearful than anyone else's. Her creatures are based off of three fears: loss of sanity, sickness, and abandonment.

In order to illustrate my "mastery" of the digital arts, my thesis will include at least three characters from concept, 3D modeling, rigging, and proof of animation (the 4th, the girl, may be modeled, but I haven't decided if that's too broad of a scope yet). The aim is to be done with this in one year - April 2014.

So here are some preliminary character design sketches for the players:

Character concept for 13ish year old "Sarah". May or may not be basically a self portrait..... I may change her to not be so similar to me, I haven't decided yet. Also - I don't work at Pixar (YET), so I may not want to tackle modeling hair like that (YET) -- although I do it every day IRL.

Character concept for "Sanity" creature. Just realized I didn't upload a full body shot, but his gross coconut-crab-legs will be covered up with socks or leg warmers. He is my favorite so far and makes me laugh every time I draw him. People's first reaction is "he looks like Stitch", but when you compare him side-by-side, he actually looks a lot like Ed from Lion King, who has also always made me laugh. I'm thinking about giving him a human nose. He's about the size of a great dane.

Character concept for "Sickness" creature. This was the last one I solidified, I had a lot of viable ideas but nothing was really hitting me. And then I drew a walrus mouth with human teeth and I had it. He'll have a hat on to hide his gross tumor-laden, nearly detached eyes. (Inspired by a gross fish in a thai restaurant's fish tank that stared at me my whole meal once. Gross.) He also leaves slime like the slugs I grew up trying (and failing) to avoid stepping on. He's about the size of a small dog, and will either be carried in a baby carrier, or dragged behind Sarah.

Character concept for "Abandonment" creature. I also had a lot of trouble with this guy, but I really like how he turned out. His rib cage is exposed and empty (empty promises). He has no eyes so it's a little harder to connect emotionally (a little obvious?), and the human feet are just weird. Not sure if that's fur or feathers, but his neck is definitely snake - which totally grosses me out because I have a serious phobia of snakes (and spiders...I'm such a girl I can't handle it). This creature is about 1.5 times as tall as Sarah.

So that's where I'm headed so far. Tomorrow we have our character design class so things might change, or at least hopefully progress, significantly this week.

Thanks for your continued prayers for Ben, Lisa, and our family.