I know it's been a long time since I've put fingers-to-keyboard here, but it has been a really insane semester. Not only has it been a ton of work to get done (several times I have tweeted that I didnt think there were enough hours in the week to accomplish all that I had to do), but it has also been the slowest 3 months of my life. I don't know why it's been crawling by at a slug's pace (I'm a Washiontonian, we do slugs here more than snails) but shoot its been a struggle.
I ended up dropping a class that will be made up during the summer. The less workload has been a huge blessing, because now I can make good work, not just turning something in just because it needs to be done.
The game I'm art director on is charging ahead and we are optimistic for the reception it will receive (competitions....?????). It's a good team and we not only work together well, but we have a good time together too. And it is super fun to see your art work in a playable atmosphere.
Amd then we have our THESIS. In a few weeks we are presenting our thesis (theses? thesi?) to our thesis committee to either be green lit for the next year of production, or told to rework them. Fortunately, we have a pre-production class and our character design class working together to help us get a workable idea, so we aren't on our own.
I've decided to keep a weekly log of how my thesis is going for the next year, posting pictures, remarking in what I'm learning, and the difficulties I run into. Not only will it help me when I have to put together the book for it, but it's the only time of my life this will ever happen, so I'd love to remember all the steps I took to get my terminal degree! MFA HERE I COME!!!
-----
On a different note, many of you know my brother Ben has been fighting cancer for a long time. This has been really rough week as options have run out. Please pray for peace for him, his wife, and my family; and that decisions that have to be made quickly will be blessed. It's been a really hard week, and anything short of a blatant miracle from God, it's not going to get easier. Thank you all for the support on all fronts, especially the faith when I can't seem to find any. He has been diligent and very honest in blogging, so if you want to follow along in prayer, here you go.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Monday, December 3, 2012
Oh, hello December!
Oh hey everyone! Last time I blogged it was mid August, and more things have changed in the last 3 1/2 months than in the past 3 1/2 years. Wait, that's probably not true.
I started grad school!!! There's really way too much to catch you, dear reader, up on, so sorry for the broad brush strokes. I'll just bullet point this:
- The MFA-ers are all awesome. We hang out. We're kind of inseparable, but mainly because we have all our classes together. But we really do like each other.
- I'm learning a ton. My CG class is basically 5 classes smooshed into one very fast paced, hectic ride, but by the end of the week I will have an animated character in an environment that I made. All of it. Yikes. (Considering I hadn't touched Maya before school, this is quite the feat.)
- I really love digital painting, and I've learned so much from our professor, Peter Moerhle.
- I'm an art director on a game team (like us on Facebook!) and I think I want to be an art director when I grow up.
- My parents moved to Colorado and are doing great. I am headed there for 2 weeks for Christmas after finals and I can not wait!
- My brother, Adam, and his wife Sheli bought a house! How did we get so grown up?
- My other brother, Ben, is continuing his fight with cancer. After some pretty bad news last week, we look forward to what another oncologist will say tomorrow. But we also have hope in Jesus, and that's basically the only thing that's important.
- Cheryl and I have been joined by Rachel, who I lived with for a year at Western. So our little 3 bedroom condo is now full and we are having a blast. Let's just say there's a lot of baking that happens.
Friday I have a portfolio review with a couple art directors at Microsoft (yikes!), so I've been redoing my website. Go check it out to see what I've been making this semester! I'm going to be dropping the Something Else Studios and just going to my name, as I'll hopefully be getting employed as just me in just over a year.... ahhh branding....
I'll try to blog more often, but I barely have time for a life outside of school, so you do the math.
Thanks for the love!
B
I started grad school!!! There's really way too much to catch you, dear reader, up on, so sorry for the broad brush strokes. I'll just bullet point this:
- The MFA-ers are all awesome. We hang out. We're kind of inseparable, but mainly because we have all our classes together. But we really do like each other.
- I'm learning a ton. My CG class is basically 5 classes smooshed into one very fast paced, hectic ride, but by the end of the week I will have an animated character in an environment that I made. All of it. Yikes. (Considering I hadn't touched Maya before school, this is quite the feat.)
- I really love digital painting, and I've learned so much from our professor, Peter Moerhle.
- I'm an art director on a game team (like us on Facebook!) and I think I want to be an art director when I grow up.
- My parents moved to Colorado and are doing great. I am headed there for 2 weeks for Christmas after finals and I can not wait!
- My brother, Adam, and his wife Sheli bought a house! How did we get so grown up?
- My other brother, Ben, is continuing his fight with cancer. After some pretty bad news last week, we look forward to what another oncologist will say tomorrow. But we also have hope in Jesus, and that's basically the only thing that's important.
- Cheryl and I have been joined by Rachel, who I lived with for a year at Western. So our little 3 bedroom condo is now full and we are having a blast. Let's just say there's a lot of baking that happens.
Friday I have a portfolio review with a couple art directors at Microsoft (yikes!), so I've been redoing my website. Go check it out to see what I've been making this semester! I'm going to be dropping the Something Else Studios and just going to my name, as I'll hopefully be getting employed as just me in just over a year.... ahhh branding....
I'll try to blog more often, but I barely have time for a life outside of school, so you do the math.
Thanks for the love!
B
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
365
I just tweeted one sentence, but then decided it needed a blog to fully express everything I'm feeling right now.
Exactly a year ago I wrote this blog about starting my first, full time, adult, benefited, real job. I had temped around the Seattle area for just over a year since graduating college and finally landed something solid and permanent. Being extremely blessed to have been offered 2 jobs at the same time, I felt I was being called to Safeway. So one year ago today, August 15th, I started working as a full time admin for the merchandising department for the Seattle division.
6 months later, things started to change. Around February I began to get an itch that I didn't like the direction my life was headed. Researching jobs in England, dreaming of cross-country road trips... there were a lot of ideas floating around, but none actually plausible. Then this MFA program at DigiPen fell in my lap and everything else seemed... wrong. This blog post was written 3 months after that, when I decided to completely change my life (you can read about the whole process there). I had two paths my life could take - working at my current job for basically the rest of my life, or take a very sharp left turn and attempt to be an artist for a living. I'm guessing you know which one I took...
So here I am having a year at my back, and looking at only 7 more days in this office. Part of me is thrilled to get the new thing going, to step into the unknown, and get back into hardcore art production (not hardcore art, but the production being...whatever, you get it). However part of me is wondering if I did make the right decision. I really love the people I work with. Yes, the work itself isn't thrilling or stimulating or in an area I'm interested in the slightest - but it's really the people that matter, anyway. Am I foolish for ditching my solid, well paying job for a dump truck load of loans, and no promised job on the other side? Am I just chasing after a fantasy I've only ever dreamed about, but it may end up just being a fantasy with a huge price tag?
Although these fears tug at me in between waves of excitement, I have the confidence that God has guided me to this place, and He doesn't just shove us in a direction. How many times in the Bible does He say "I will never leave you nor forsake you"? (I don't actually know, but it's more than a handful.) I have the confidence that I am ditching comfort for a better path. It certainly isn't the easy path, but I have only to look at my family members to see that the easy path is not what we are called to. My brother has cancer and yet he is living in God's will, serving and ministering to others. My parents are uprooting their lives and moving to Colorado Springs (the same week I start school), and each step it has been abundantly clear that God is leading them there. How can I be scared of my uncertain future when I have perfect examples of God's faithfulness in front of my face?!
Yes, I still have a lot of things I need to sort out - personally and otherwise. But when the excitement recedes and the fear sets in, I have something I can cling to: Jesus and his faithful and gracious interest in my life.
Exactly a year ago I wrote this blog about starting my first, full time, adult, benefited, real job. I had temped around the Seattle area for just over a year since graduating college and finally landed something solid and permanent. Being extremely blessed to have been offered 2 jobs at the same time, I felt I was being called to Safeway. So one year ago today, August 15th, I started working as a full time admin for the merchandising department for the Seattle division.
6 months later, things started to change. Around February I began to get an itch that I didn't like the direction my life was headed. Researching jobs in England, dreaming of cross-country road trips... there were a lot of ideas floating around, but none actually plausible. Then this MFA program at DigiPen fell in my lap and everything else seemed... wrong. This blog post was written 3 months after that, when I decided to completely change my life (you can read about the whole process there). I had two paths my life could take - working at my current job for basically the rest of my life, or take a very sharp left turn and attempt to be an artist for a living. I'm guessing you know which one I took...
So here I am having a year at my back, and looking at only 7 more days in this office. Part of me is thrilled to get the new thing going, to step into the unknown, and get back into hardcore art production (not hardcore art, but the production being...whatever, you get it). However part of me is wondering if I did make the right decision. I really love the people I work with. Yes, the work itself isn't thrilling or stimulating or in an area I'm interested in the slightest - but it's really the people that matter, anyway. Am I foolish for ditching my solid, well paying job for a dump truck load of loans, and no promised job on the other side? Am I just chasing after a fantasy I've only ever dreamed about, but it may end up just being a fantasy with a huge price tag?
Although these fears tug at me in between waves of excitement, I have the confidence that God has guided me to this place, and He doesn't just shove us in a direction. How many times in the Bible does He say "I will never leave you nor forsake you"? (I don't actually know, but it's more than a handful.) I have the confidence that I am ditching comfort for a better path. It certainly isn't the easy path, but I have only to look at my family members to see that the easy path is not what we are called to. My brother has cancer and yet he is living in God's will, serving and ministering to others. My parents are uprooting their lives and moving to Colorado Springs (the same week I start school), and each step it has been abundantly clear that God is leading them there. How can I be scared of my uncertain future when I have perfect examples of God's faithfulness in front of my face?!
Yes, I still have a lot of things I need to sort out - personally and otherwise. But when the excitement recedes and the fear sets in, I have something I can cling to: Jesus and his faithful and gracious interest in my life.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Art Nouveau
Recently, thanks to Google Images, I've totally fallen in love with the art nouveau poster style, so I decided to take a whack at it.
Thus: another Thrilling Adventure Hour character! If you remember, I last did The King of Coffee (in quite a different style), but this time we have Sparks Nevada's Red Plains Rider, given voice often by the freakishly talented Busy Philips. (Check out the musical episode. For reals.)
I love this show, and I had a blast drawing this. If you haven't listened to TAH yet (again, what is wrong with you?) check them out on iTunes.
Thus: another Thrilling Adventure Hour character! If you remember, I last did The King of Coffee (in quite a different style), but this time we have Sparks Nevada's Red Plains Rider, given voice often by the freakishly talented Busy Philips. (Check out the musical episode. For reals.)
I love this show, and I had a blast drawing this. If you haven't listened to TAH yet (again, what is wrong with you?) check them out on iTunes.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Future: Unlocked
June 15th, 8:58am, I received an email:
On behalf of the Admissions Department at DigiPen, I am pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the Master of Fine Arts in Digital Arts program. Congratulations!
Folks, I'm goin' to grad school!
On behalf of the Admissions Department at DigiPen, I am pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the Master of Fine Arts in Digital Arts program. Congratulations!
Folks, I'm goin' to grad school!
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Supernatural or Superdisappointed?
DISCLAIMER: I am up to a few episodes into Season 6, so I haven't seen the entire show, but that's over 100 episodes, so close enough. Please don't hate me for being critical of something you may be incredibly passionate about, Internet. Please use your brains. Thanks.
I'm a total TV glutton, so when I find a show that keeps my interest and doesn't make me groan from bad dialogue, I tend to need to devour all episodes available. The flavor of the month this time around is Supernatural. (No)Thanks to Netflix, I can catch up on all 6 previous seasons before I have to scrounge around to find the just-finished 7th.
Would I recommend this show? Umm... I would recommend specific episodes but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't call this show "good" or list it among favorites, although (having just started season 6) I still want to finish it.
I'll start with the positives. What's good about this show?
a) The leads are extremely attractive, and all around it is well acted.
b) It is wildly funny. The chemistry between the brother characters is spot on, and the writing is very self aware. They, like Buffy, can throw in wonderful wit in a very serious situation. And let's not forget Castiel. Cas, the wickedly literal rogue angel with no grasp of pop culture references is unfortunately very underused. The relationship between he and Dean is so beautifully written, as these two have a personal bond without understanding each other in the slightest. It is comedy gold, people.
c) Also like Buffy, the show can get away with wonderfully meta and just plain weird episodes. For example: in one episode the boys get accused of LARPing a series of books called, catch this, Supernatural. It turns out a "prophet" sees everything that happens in their lives and has turned it into a book series with a cult following (all the while not knowing these were real events). Later in the series they go to a convention for said books, where everyone is dressed up as them. Not many shows can get away with this much self awareness (there are actual Supernatural conventions with a very rabid fan base). Another episode has them sliding through TV parodies, the first being a VERY funny Grey's Anatomy-esque show ("Dr. Sexy") that is just spot on. It's nice that they play with the silly side of supernatural abilities, as well as the dark and creepy.
d) They shoot in the Vancouver area, and a lot in Langley/Fort Langley, so a lot of it is a tour of my first 2 years of college. It's really exciting every time I recognize a place.
Why my reservations?
a) The theology, if you can even call it that, is stupid. I'd call it offensive, but it's so downright dumb that I'm not sure it's even worth getting huffed up about. The theology (angels being just as much of jerks as demons, God "missing", Michael and Lucifer being brothers...ugh I could go on) is bad, but for story sake, sure, why not. Whatever. I believe in a loving, active and caring God, and this show affirms that belief for me, because I certainly don't want to believe in the God that they allude to.
b) Women, or lack there of. Now, I'm not a raging, bra burning, I-ain't-havin'-no-babies feminist, but I am a woman. Maybe I'm too much of a fan of Joss Whedon and therefore take offense when women aren't given their due on screen. And I'm not blaming the fact that it's an all male cast (it's basically a buddy cop show), but when the women who do make it on screen are poorly written, I find that offensive.
Any women written in are basically just objects, an end to a means. Sam and Dean's mother is killed by a demon, Sam's girlfriend is killed the same way (the writers have noted that they didn't originally write Jessica's death, but found it better motivation to get Sam to go with Dean). Countless women are murdered by monsters or demons. Demons use people as bodies - at least three recurring characters are demons in girls' bodies, and a few times we even meet the girl who is being possessed for a few moments either before death or repossession. Romantic interests are introduced, their lives inevitably threatened, romance ensues, and then the boys leave rarely to speak of them again. A mother/daughter hunter pair are only a few who have stuck around for any length of time (who aren't evil) are probably the strongest of all women on the show, but are, of course (spoiler), killed in action. Needless to say, women aren't given much shape, or even a chance to take form, in this show. They're either vessels for romance or violence or both, or are killed off too quickly to find out.
And finally, women are verbally abused quite a lot. I couldn't count how many times women are called "bitches" or "sluts" or any combo or variety of the two. Yes, the insults are either directed to or from a demon or monster, but I still cringe a little every time. Maybe it's just the sheer amount that female-specific derogatory remarks are used that it has become a little tiresome (I'll admit, "dick" is a favorite of the show as well), but is it utterly necessary? And is it only passable because that evil she-demon who is being very evil has deserved being called a slut? I don't know, something about the language choices on the show bugs me.
Can a show be male driven and still have strong women characters? Absolutely - Mad Men, Firefly, Psych to name a few. Have there been female driven shows with poorly written female characters? You bet your bottom. But in a show where violence is one of the main pillars, I'm disappointed that the women characters aren't written better to withstand. Women are the victims (even when they're hunters, they end up being victims) who must be saved by the men, romanced, and either left or killed. It's a good thing the Supernatural world isn't real - I sure wouldn't want to be a women in that world.
Wonder why I'm still watching the show? Kind of me too, but I do enjoy it. And I think I might enjoy analysing why I don't enjoy it as much as I enjoy watching it. (Wait, what?)
If you have any recommendations for better shows, hit up the comment section.
Rabid fan base, please don't kill me.
I'm a total TV glutton, so when I find a show that keeps my interest and doesn't make me groan from bad dialogue, I tend to need to devour all episodes available. The flavor of the month this time around is Supernatural. (No)Thanks to Netflix, I can catch up on all 6 previous seasons before I have to scrounge around to find the just-finished 7th.
Would I recommend this show? Umm... I would recommend specific episodes but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't call this show "good" or list it among favorites, although (having just started season 6) I still want to finish it.
I'll start with the positives. What's good about this show?
a) The leads are extremely attractive, and all around it is well acted.
b) It is wildly funny. The chemistry between the brother characters is spot on, and the writing is very self aware. They, like Buffy, can throw in wonderful wit in a very serious situation. And let's not forget Castiel. Cas, the wickedly literal rogue angel with no grasp of pop culture references is unfortunately very underused. The relationship between he and Dean is so beautifully written, as these two have a personal bond without understanding each other in the slightest. It is comedy gold, people.
c) Also like Buffy, the show can get away with wonderfully meta and just plain weird episodes. For example: in one episode the boys get accused of LARPing a series of books called, catch this, Supernatural. It turns out a "prophet" sees everything that happens in their lives and has turned it into a book series with a cult following (all the while not knowing these were real events). Later in the series they go to a convention for said books, where everyone is dressed up as them. Not many shows can get away with this much self awareness (there are actual Supernatural conventions with a very rabid fan base). Another episode has them sliding through TV parodies, the first being a VERY funny Grey's Anatomy-esque show ("Dr. Sexy") that is just spot on. It's nice that they play with the silly side of supernatural abilities, as well as the dark and creepy.
d) They shoot in the Vancouver area, and a lot in Langley/Fort Langley, so a lot of it is a tour of my first 2 years of college. It's really exciting every time I recognize a place.
Why my reservations?
a) The theology, if you can even call it that, is stupid. I'd call it offensive, but it's so downright dumb that I'm not sure it's even worth getting huffed up about. The theology (angels being just as much of jerks as demons, God "missing", Michael and Lucifer being brothers...ugh I could go on) is bad, but for story sake, sure, why not. Whatever. I believe in a loving, active and caring God, and this show affirms that belief for me, because I certainly don't want to believe in the God that they allude to.
b) Women, or lack there of. Now, I'm not a raging, bra burning, I-ain't-havin'-no-babies feminist, but I am a woman. Maybe I'm too much of a fan of Joss Whedon and therefore take offense when women aren't given their due on screen. And I'm not blaming the fact that it's an all male cast (it's basically a buddy cop show), but when the women who do make it on screen are poorly written, I find that offensive.
Any women written in are basically just objects, an end to a means. Sam and Dean's mother is killed by a demon, Sam's girlfriend is killed the same way (the writers have noted that they didn't originally write Jessica's death, but found it better motivation to get Sam to go with Dean). Countless women are murdered by monsters or demons. Demons use people as bodies - at least three recurring characters are demons in girls' bodies, and a few times we even meet the girl who is being possessed for a few moments either before death or repossession. Romantic interests are introduced, their lives inevitably threatened, romance ensues, and then the boys leave rarely to speak of them again. A mother/daughter hunter pair are only a few who have stuck around for any length of time (who aren't evil) are probably the strongest of all women on the show, but are, of course (spoiler), killed in action. Needless to say, women aren't given much shape, or even a chance to take form, in this show. They're either vessels for romance or violence or both, or are killed off too quickly to find out.
And finally, women are verbally abused quite a lot. I couldn't count how many times women are called "bitches" or "sluts" or any combo or variety of the two. Yes, the insults are either directed to or from a demon or monster, but I still cringe a little every time. Maybe it's just the sheer amount that female-specific derogatory remarks are used that it has become a little tiresome (I'll admit, "dick" is a favorite of the show as well), but is it utterly necessary? And is it only passable because that evil she-demon who is being very evil has deserved being called a slut? I don't know, something about the language choices on the show bugs me.
Can a show be male driven and still have strong women characters? Absolutely - Mad Men, Firefly, Psych to name a few. Have there been female driven shows with poorly written female characters? You bet your bottom. But in a show where violence is one of the main pillars, I'm disappointed that the women characters aren't written better to withstand. Women are the victims (even when they're hunters, they end up being victims) who must be saved by the men, romanced, and either left or killed. It's a good thing the Supernatural world isn't real - I sure wouldn't want to be a women in that world.
Wonder why I'm still watching the show? Kind of me too, but I do enjoy it. And I think I might enjoy analysing why I don't enjoy it as much as I enjoy watching it. (Wait, what?)
If you have any recommendations for better shows, hit up the comment section.
Rabid fan base, please don't kill me.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
How to Change Your Life with One Simple Facebook Message
If you follow me on Twitter you basically know, or at least have caught snippets, of what's going down. I alluded to it on Facebook a time or two, but needed to inform people in real life (IRL for those of you who read only in abbreves) before I could really let loose. But considering by now basically everyone in my life knows, I might as well put it here - whether for marking a point in time or for public shame later, we shall see.
Here's the deal: I applied for grad school.
I know, right? I'm not sure if I've blogged about grad school at all here before, but basically my attitude was: I'd love to do it because I love the art/academia world, but I can not justify that much debt for a degree in art, which odds are will get me no further than I am right now.
So why the change of heart? Well sit back and I'll tell you a little (very long) story:
*insert flash-back harp music*
The exact day this journey began was Monday, February 27th, but around that time I was feeling the tug of discontent in the direction my life was headed. I was having discussions with God about the future (looking at job opportunities in England? I was getting antsy to say the least), and basically told Him (always a good move) that I wanted to be out of my current situation and in an art related career by the time I was 30 (4 1/2 years from now).
God has such a sense of humor.
So February 27th I received a Facebook message that morning. My friend, Jason, who is currently at DigiPen for a game design degree, emailed me and a few other artist friends informing us that DigiPen was starting a brand new MFA in Digital Art program, and just thought he'd put that information in front of our faces to see if we'd want to do anything with it. I instantly replied, "Don't tempt me." Then a few hours later I text him something to the effect of "Damn it, Jason." I had clicked on that stupid underlined blue text and fell headlong down a worm hole. I read all I could about the program and really couldn't believe my eyes. This program is geared towards artists who want to get into the digital/3D industry - THAT'S ME! Although I was trying to find a new path in life, grad school wasn't on my radar because of the money situation. So this slap in the face came so far out of left field, yet seemed so perfect, I couldn't help but know it was from God.
I held on to this information for a few days until I couldn't stand it anymore and had to bounce it off of someone else to see if I was totally insane. I don't remember who was the first one to get hit in the face with my verbal freak out puke, it was probably my room mate Cheryl (bless her heart). Person after person I told I received the same reaction: "Oh my gosh, Beth. You have to do it."
This was not was I was expecting. I don't know why, but I was expecting a luke-warm reception of, "That's cool, but is it necessary?", or at the very least, "That sounds fun." Instead it was a barrage of "This is perfect for you!" "I can see in your eyes it's all you want" "Well, what are you waiting for?" etc. I was nervous to tell my mom as just the week prior she had told me I needed to be more grateful for my job as so many people we know don't have them. So telling her I was considering leaving my job to go back to school, take out a ton of loans, in hopes of getting a different job? Didn't sound to me like it would land well....but it did (except for the loan part, but that part was already giving me heartburn anyway). Needless to say, my mind was swimming.
A month later (exactly) I saw they were having an info session the next Saturday, March 31st. I instantly signed up for it, only to be super bummed a second later when I realized I had to skip half of Saturday at Emerald City Comicon. Sorry, Wil Wheaton, but my grad school dreams were slightly higher on my to-do list than your 90 Minute Awesome Hour (of which I am really bummed I missed). But, disappointment aside, I went. (Oh, let's not forget the 3-day rush to get a portfolio together and printed for a review by professors...the first portfolio required of me in 2 years.)
The first words out of the gal's mouth: "You must be Beth! You're our only girl today." Yep, I was in the right place - but surprised it was only 3 guys and myself. The info session was fantastic - turns out I totally and completely agree with the education theories and philosophies of DigiPen. The only thing that had me a little bummed was how 3D intense the program is, but it only took me a day or two after to come around to the fact that that's what the industry I want to work in demands, and I really do want to learn how to do it all. The professors were really great and willing to answer any and all questions. My portfolio review went way better than expected. I went into this session planning on applying for the 2013/14 school year, but after all the talk about the program, meeting the people I met, and the professor telling me I was a viable candidate now (not expected news), my plans basically changed right then and there. I was going to figure out a way to do this program this fall.
It has been 2 full months since that info session and things have been going weirdly well. All I can say is this is a testament to God's provision. You see, I've seen doors slammed in my face when I try to make a plan work. 2 years ago I tried so hard and sent out countless resumes to Bellingham to move there. I had 3 seemingly excellent interviews, all flopped. Everything I tried failed. Turned out God knew best that I needed to stay where I was. Letting God take this situation under control and seeing how He has lead me in His best path is so thrilling. The reason I kept it under wraps for a while was that I couldn't tell the difference between God's direction and my personal desires. I want so badly to get into this program and to be able to further my artistic skills so that I can be hireable in games and movies (more than you know). I want so badly for a change of pace. But I didn't know if I wanted it so badly I was ignoring God's direction. So I took time and sought wise council to figure it out. So far, this does seem to be the direction God has for me.
Have I been accepted yet? Not that I know. I confirmed a few days ago that all my application materials were received, so I should know if a few weeks. I'm proud of my essay, I think my portfolio is solid, and I feel like I have 2 pretty strong references. If I don't get in, yes, I'll be disappointed. But part of me will be relieved as I'll have another year to beef up the portfolio with more digital, get some 3D experience, pay off some debt, save some money and apply for scholarships. All those things I can't do if I get in this year, but I know if I do, God will provide - He does not send us down a path alone!
These past few months have been an exercise in trusting God, and even more so in waiting. And I'm still waiting, but I'm excited to see what's around the next turn. I have no idea what I'll be doing come September - for all I know I could be doing the same thing I am doing now, or I could be back at school and busier than I have been in years. I don't know if or how I'll keep my current job, and how much debt I'll have to take out as all scholarship deadlines are gone. Cheryl and I are looking for a 3rd roommate so rent will go down, but even in that there's so much still in the air.
Basically, there are so many balls up in the air right now. I suck at juggling, so it's a good thing I've got God covering it.
Here's the deal: I applied for grad school.
I know, right? I'm not sure if I've blogged about grad school at all here before, but basically my attitude was: I'd love to do it because I love the art/academia world, but I can not justify that much debt for a degree in art, which odds are will get me no further than I am right now.
So why the change of heart? Well sit back and I'll tell you a little (very long) story:
*insert flash-back harp music*
The exact day this journey began was Monday, February 27th, but around that time I was feeling the tug of discontent in the direction my life was headed. I was having discussions with God about the future (looking at job opportunities in England? I was getting antsy to say the least), and basically told Him (always a good move) that I wanted to be out of my current situation and in an art related career by the time I was 30 (4 1/2 years from now).
God has such a sense of humor.
So February 27th I received a Facebook message that morning. My friend, Jason, who is currently at DigiPen for a game design degree, emailed me and a few other artist friends informing us that DigiPen was starting a brand new MFA in Digital Art program, and just thought he'd put that information in front of our faces to see if we'd want to do anything with it. I instantly replied, "Don't tempt me." Then a few hours later I text him something to the effect of "Damn it, Jason." I had clicked on that stupid underlined blue text and fell headlong down a worm hole. I read all I could about the program and really couldn't believe my eyes. This program is geared towards artists who want to get into the digital/3D industry - THAT'S ME! Although I was trying to find a new path in life, grad school wasn't on my radar because of the money situation. So this slap in the face came so far out of left field, yet seemed so perfect, I couldn't help but know it was from God.
I held on to this information for a few days until I couldn't stand it anymore and had to bounce it off of someone else to see if I was totally insane. I don't remember who was the first one to get hit in the face with my verbal freak out puke, it was probably my room mate Cheryl (bless her heart). Person after person I told I received the same reaction: "Oh my gosh, Beth. You have to do it."
This was not was I was expecting. I don't know why, but I was expecting a luke-warm reception of, "That's cool, but is it necessary?", or at the very least, "That sounds fun." Instead it was a barrage of "This is perfect for you!" "I can see in your eyes it's all you want" "Well, what are you waiting for?" etc. I was nervous to tell my mom as just the week prior she had told me I needed to be more grateful for my job as so many people we know don't have them. So telling her I was considering leaving my job to go back to school, take out a ton of loans, in hopes of getting a different job? Didn't sound to me like it would land well....but it did (except for the loan part, but that part was already giving me heartburn anyway). Needless to say, my mind was swimming.
A month later (exactly) I saw they were having an info session the next Saturday, March 31st. I instantly signed up for it, only to be super bummed a second later when I realized I had to skip half of Saturday at Emerald City Comicon. Sorry, Wil Wheaton, but my grad school dreams were slightly higher on my to-do list than your 90 Minute Awesome Hour (of which I am really bummed I missed). But, disappointment aside, I went. (Oh, let's not forget the 3-day rush to get a portfolio together and printed for a review by professors...the first portfolio required of me in 2 years.)
The first words out of the gal's mouth: "You must be Beth! You're our only girl today." Yep, I was in the right place - but surprised it was only 3 guys and myself. The info session was fantastic - turns out I totally and completely agree with the education theories and philosophies of DigiPen. The only thing that had me a little bummed was how 3D intense the program is, but it only took me a day or two after to come around to the fact that that's what the industry I want to work in demands, and I really do want to learn how to do it all. The professors were really great and willing to answer any and all questions. My portfolio review went way better than expected. I went into this session planning on applying for the 2013/14 school year, but after all the talk about the program, meeting the people I met, and the professor telling me I was a viable candidate now (not expected news), my plans basically changed right then and there. I was going to figure out a way to do this program this fall.
It has been 2 full months since that info session and things have been going weirdly well. All I can say is this is a testament to God's provision. You see, I've seen doors slammed in my face when I try to make a plan work. 2 years ago I tried so hard and sent out countless resumes to Bellingham to move there. I had 3 seemingly excellent interviews, all flopped. Everything I tried failed. Turned out God knew best that I needed to stay where I was. Letting God take this situation under control and seeing how He has lead me in His best path is so thrilling. The reason I kept it under wraps for a while was that I couldn't tell the difference between God's direction and my personal desires. I want so badly to get into this program and to be able to further my artistic skills so that I can be hireable in games and movies (more than you know). I want so badly for a change of pace. But I didn't know if I wanted it so badly I was ignoring God's direction. So I took time and sought wise council to figure it out. So far, this does seem to be the direction God has for me.
Have I been accepted yet? Not that I know. I confirmed a few days ago that all my application materials were received, so I should know if a few weeks. I'm proud of my essay, I think my portfolio is solid, and I feel like I have 2 pretty strong references. If I don't get in, yes, I'll be disappointed. But part of me will be relieved as I'll have another year to beef up the portfolio with more digital, get some 3D experience, pay off some debt, save some money and apply for scholarships. All those things I can't do if I get in this year, but I know if I do, God will provide - He does not send us down a path alone!
These past few months have been an exercise in trusting God, and even more so in waiting. And I'm still waiting, but I'm excited to see what's around the next turn. I have no idea what I'll be doing come September - for all I know I could be doing the same thing I am doing now, or I could be back at school and busier than I have been in years. I don't know if or how I'll keep my current job, and how much debt I'll have to take out as all scholarship deadlines are gone. Cheryl and I are looking for a 3rd roommate so rent will go down, but even in that there's so much still in the air.
Basically, there are so many balls up in the air right now. I suck at juggling, so it's a good thing I've got God covering it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)